Candy and Me; Musical Intervention

Enya

        I looked up at my fifth grade teacher, Ms. Deering, as she explained what our poem was supposed to be like. We could choose any topic we wanted as long as it meant something to us. I knew what topic I was going to write about right away, life.
        “Do you think writing a poem about life would be too cliché?” I had just learned what the word cliché meant from the song I Won’t Say (I’m in Love) from Hercules, and I tried to use it as much as possible for about a week after.

“No, I think that is a great topic, I can’t wait to read your poem.” She went over to play some music for us as she said this to me.

        I have always appreciated teachers who play music for us while we work. Mrs. Ance used to play music and even though I didn’t really enjoy her taste in music, or her class, the days where she played music were the best. I have never understood the people who discouraged music being played while work was being done. My dad listened to music while he worked and he was on roofs all day, so why shouldn’t we be able to listen to music while we sit at desks all day? I remember one time playing music in my room while I did my homework. “She” walked in and said to turn it off because I needed to focus. I couldn’t understand how she thought that asking me to turn off my music was a reasonable request.

        The whole class quieted down to see what Ms. Deering had selected to listen to today. I always admired Ms. Deering, she was my favorite teacher; even now we keep tabs on each other, so to hear her choice wasn’t very surprising. I knew we had similar taste in music, even though I was just a little fifth grader; we had many discussions about music that year.  As Enya played I recognized her voice right away. I didn’t recognize the song, but I was absolutely sure it was Enya. I sat at my desk, pencil in hand, mind blank. Suddenly a song came on that I did recognize. It was Only Time and at the time, my favorite Enya song. As Enya sang I turned her notes into inspiration that exploded out of my pencil like a big ink mess when a pen explodes, only instead of a puddle of ink it was just a mess of words scribbled onto my paper. As I finished the last couple lines of my sloppy poem, I leaped from my seat and gently placed it face down in the basket for Ms. Deering to proof read.
        The next day during English Ms. Deering called out names of kids and as their names were called, they rose and slumped over to Ms. Deering’s table. When my name was called I didn’t slump over, instead I got up, straightened my back, and sauntered over to where we would proof read my poem. After we made my poem look like a crime scene, blood between many of my sentences, I moved to a computer to type up the corrected version of my poem. After I finished my poem I felt good and sent a silent thanks to Enya for the inspiration she had sparked in me. To this day, Ms. Deering has that poem on display in her room and I hold Enya responsible.

Sarah McLachlan

        I walked over to the window to see what the night had in store for me. When I was younger I used to think that by looking outside I could figure out how people would be behaving. Like the weather was the only variable impacting their mood, and that way their mood was always justified, because nobody can do anything about the weather. Tonight was beautiful though, I found it hard to believe that anyone who saw tonight would be able to stay in a bad mood. The moon lit up Earth much like how I imagine once single light would light up a football field. With the moon helping a street light out on the corner, I could see everything. The snow on the ground reflected the moon so beautifully, and in the window I saw our tree and the candles lighting up the living room much like the moon and street light working together outside.

I strode over to the couch, careful not to be noticed by the woman dancing in the middle of the room. I watched her as Sarah’s lyrics moved her. She looked like a jellyfish flowing with the energy of the ocean. As the energy coming from Sarah’s voice moved the dancing woman, my father came in to interrupt. She hardly gave him a chance to say anything before she took him by the arms and moved him like a marionette. My father doesn’t know how to dance, she knows this. My father is one of those odd people who can appreciate music, but not quite connect with it; I still have never fully understood this type of person.

She releases him and continues to dance as if my father’s two left feet were a mere inconvenience to her. Me on the other hand, I am utterly embarrassed by my dad’s lack of rhythm and just as I’m about to tease him about it, my favorite Sarah song comes on. The C.D. playing is a mix between Christmas Enya, Sarah McLachlan and Kathy Mattea. Christmas is the only time this C.D. is played because, “if you listen to it at any other time it loses that special Christmas quality.”

“Can you please put it in? Just this one time, I promise I won’t ask again.” I have time to go over every single word I just spoke as she sighs before she speaks.

“Ariana, you know the rule. I have explained it enough times that I shouldn’t have to repeat it to you.” She says this as sincerely as she can manage, with just the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice. She is so stubborn when it comes to what I would like. I’m sure if anyone else had asked she would have performed the task with a smile on her face.  “Christmas break starts next Friday; I’ll play it after dinner on Friday, but not before. You know that if you listen to it at any other time it loses that special Christmas quality.”

I’m not sure if it’s the weather, or the fact that this is the first time since last Christmas that I have been able to listen to this C.D., but shortly after my dad’s interruption, the woman swimming in the middle of the room exists to put her daughter to bed. I stand up and run in front of her to kiss my five year old sister on the forehead before she is tucked in. I pass the woman and my father on my way out and make my way back to the living room, feeling cool having a sister six years younger than myself. I lay on the bigger of the two couches and watch as the candles flicker on the walls, as if to be moving by spirit and not by wind. I check to see if any window is open, but the warmth of the house is safe because all windows remain shut. I close my eyes and let Sarah’s voice put me in a state of peace as I carefully absorb all the words she is singing.

My goal is to memorize all of her lyrics, as well as each chord that is played and every note that is hit. If I can sing it, then I can listen to it at any time I’d like. My eye lids are no longer floating above my eyes, but wrapping around them making it impossible to open. As I drift off, goal unaccomplished, the last thing I hear is the crowd as they cheer for Sarah when the song is over.

Ani DiFranco

        “I just got a bunch of songs onto my phone, do you have any more Ani, because all of mine got left in Washington.” Sarah and Laurie were talking in the front seat while Alanis played for me throughout the car.

“Uhm, I don’t think I do, I think I left all my Ani in Washington too, Ariana, do you like Ani?” Laurie’s question had Sarah staring at me, waiting for a reply. What was an oni? Or was it onni? I’d have to google it when I got home.

“Uhm, no…what’s that?!”

“Well,” Sarah began, “she’s a singer, she’s really great and I think you would love her.” Laurie then added, “Considering your obsession with Alanis, I’m surprised you haven’t heard of Ani already, you should listen to her, I think you’ll really enjoy her music.” Laurie was hardly ever wrong when it came to things I might like.

        When I got home I typed “Oni” into the google, and “Did you mean Ani?” came up, I clicked on that, assuming I had in fact meant “Ani”, and several YouTube videos came up. The first song I listened to was Untouchable Face, of course I really enjoyed all the F Bombs she dropped and continued my research. I must have spent two or three hours just listening to song after song after song, I couldn’t get enough. It amazed me that I had been in the dark about Ani all this time, was it a conspiracy? I was sure everyone in my life was in on this, so I texted my mom to see if she had ever heard of Ani.

The reply I received from my mom was unexpected, to say the least. My mother had actually been offended that I asked her this question. She replied with something along the lines of “Are you kidding me?!?! OF COURSE I know who Ani is. I listened to her all the time when you were little; I can’t believe you are asking me that.” I wasn’t sure how to respond to this. Did she really think I was in control of what I did and didn’t remember from my childhood? Why was she listening to Ani around me at such an early age anyway, should I be concerned about that? Instead of getting into an unavoidable argument by telling her Laurie had turned me onto her, I asked her what her favorite songs were. It was funny to see how much my mom and I had in common, even if it was about just one singer.

After I was done discussing my favorite Ani songs with my mother I decided to make a project for myself. I have always been incredibly nosey, wanting to know everything about everyone all the time. I feel like if you know enough about someone then you should be able to connect with them no matter what. So I picked a few of my favorite Ani songs, whether it was because of the lyrics, the guitar, or her unique choice of when to breathe during her performances, and this left me with a handful of songs that I was going to tear apart and analyze. My goal was to figure out who, what, when, where, and why about all the songs I had selected. I love to make my own connections with songs, but I also love to know about people, and I wanted to know more about Ani. After analysis after analysis, I decided that the main reason for Ani doing what she did was for the sole purpose of wanting to. I could get into that. I liked the sense of freedom her songs held, like as long as I was listening to Ani, I’d didn’t have to take crap from anyone. Doing what you want regardless of anyone else’s thoughts had always been appealing to me –to a certain extent- and Ani had that down.

It was my first day of work at Coconuts in the keys, what better music to put me in a good mood and boost my confidence than Ani DiFranco? This was only my second job and to be completely honest, I was a little intimidated by most of the personalities down in the keys, people were a lot different than in Michigan, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it. You never knew what you were going to get with each person, and being the over analytical person that I am, I had fun all day trying to figure these crazy people out. A tide must have come up and left a bunch of the ocean floor on the shore, because I was overwhelmed by the smell of mangroves in the evening as I made my way. The mangroves are disgusting, it’s the one place where everything in the ocean goes to die, or at least that’s what it smells like.

Once I got to work I had finished my Ani session and felt invincible, and I was. I was ready to meet all the people who’d be graced with my presence every weekend and start my analyzing. I felt like a scientist and all the people running about were my little rats, I had to see what triggered them, what topics to avoid, and who would find the cheese the fastest. The girl training me I liked right away because we began a discussion about music. Ani and Alanis being the first thing anyone hears come out of my mouth, this was perfect. Although I assumed that I’d have more luck finding people in the keys to relate my Ani bond with, I had a hard time in doing so. I thought being so close to Key West I’d at least find one person who shared my interest in her, but this girl was not it. She knew who Alanis was, kudos for that, but she hadn’t heard of Ani and that offended me.

As my life in the keys continued I was constantly in search of someone who shared the same music interests as me. I found several people who were fans of Alanis, not as big a fan as I was, but nonetheless, a fan. My time in the keys was short and I only found one other person who admired Ani the way I did. He was a middle aged man that my siblings and I would play Frisbee with in the park every night after his tennis session. This man was a musical genius. I found myself engaged in conversations with him all the time about the guitar, seeing as he was very talented in that department and I had just decided I was going to become a kick-ass folk singer, much like Ani. My disappointment in the keys had a lot to do with peoples taste in music (as well as the mangroves) and music being everything to me, it was nice to have him as my musical outlet.

When I came back home I quickly found people who adored Ani, much like myself. Sure, they were usually around 30, mostly friends of my mom or random people that had been placed in my life, maybe a teacher here and there, but they understood. I had begun to get used to the fact that I wouldn’t have the same musical interests as the kids from my generation, so any outlet was more than enough. I have to say that Ani is the one kick-ass feminist that everyone woman needs to hear once in a while, and having another kick-ass woman like yourself to embrace her with is pretty awesome. I you’re an Ani fan, you understand, if you’re not…you’re missing out.

Alanis Morissette

        Alanis Morissette was born June 1^st, 1974 in Ottawa, Canada. She is married to Mario “Souleye” Treadway and has a son, Ever Imre Treadway-Morissette who was born on Christmas in 2010. Alanis has a twin brother, Wade Imre Morissette, and older brother that I’m not quite sure really exists, Chad Morissette. She also has two parents, who are both teachers, her father is French and her mother is Hungarian. When her father was a little kid he went up to her mother on the playground and told her that he was going to marry her, several years later…they were married. (I know! It’s pretty amazing.) This is just a fraction of what I know about Alanis, I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on about Alanis and everything I know about her, just from memory.

Alanis has always been a big part of my musical history. I have been hearing her for as long as I have been alive, but it wasn’t until I was about 11 that I actually listened. I was watching an early morning episode of Jump Start on VH1 when Alanis’ song You Learn came on. I instantly fell in love with her voice. I had to hear more, I found Still from the movie Dogma and I knew that from that point on, my life would never be the same. I quickly googled Alanis so that I could find everything that there was to know about her. I watched every video on YouTube, read every interview available, rented every movie she was involved in (as well as a very boring documentary that she had narrated), and found a list of every song she wrote. I was obsessed.

I never knew anything more beautiful before I heard her voice. I felt like the Christopher Columbus of Alanis Morissette, I mean obviously I wasn’t the first to discover her. After this people started associating Alanis with me, it was great! My obsession began to grow old in our house around 15. Alanis would always be playing in the house, and the five other people living there had heard enough, but this only strengthened our Artist-Fan bond. Not until recently did our bond begin to fade. My little sister Branwyn even started to get into her before I left my family.  

“I miss you SO much, how has your summer been, how has Florida been, how has school been, how have YOU been?!” I needed to know everything I had missed.

“Florida is the same as it was before you came back here, school is okay, and I miss you and Michigan a lot.” She didn’t sound sad, she just sounded matter-of-factly.

“Well I missed my little sister, and I’m glad you got to come visit your home for a little bit, how was Camp Daggett?”

“Oh, camp was really fun. Rand was a little upset since he’s too old to go now…but no one cares about Rand.” She paused and laughed, it made my heart sink to see her smile because I had missed her so much. “After you left I took all the Alanis that was on the computer and I put it all on my iPod, I listen to it every day.”

“I’m so glad! She really is wonderful. I feel like I’m drifting away from her a little, the latest album was a bit disappointing.” Neither of us could believe the words coming out of my mouth.

Me losing my bond with Alanis? Things really had changed… The next few hours were what made this day the best day of my summer. Unless you have a sister, you don’t truly understand the sister-sister relationship. Being away from your sister is like that worm you cut in half as a little kid, where both parts of the worm are living but each missing it’s other half.

The next day I drove my sister to our grandma’s house in Bliss so that “She” and my dad could pick her up. The car ride home was a long one, I kept thinking about how things would have been if I stayed in Florida with my sister, and then I thanked Alanis. I did this because I suddenly understood the purpose of my bond with Alanis. Alanis helped me through a lot in my life. I have always been a firm believer in music as the only real cure to anything. Now that I had been cured time and time again, my sister’s ache for me could be cured through her voice as well. This is the best bond between a fan and an artist. Now whenever my sister listens to Alanis, she’ll always have a piece of me, I couldn’t have asked Alanis for anything more.